Friday 6 May 2016

A guide to dealing with Yooners

There is something about the modern version of Scottish dress that can only be described as cool...

And sexy. Yeah, pretty seriously sexy.

OK, so, let's agree that modern Scottish dress is both cool and sexy, how does that sound? Good, now read on.

There are other people who are neither sexy nor cool, and this is how they dress:

This man is not cool. Rather he is a total wanker.

As is this man...

And the less said about this woman the better.

The reason why the uncool dress and act this way is that they are Unionists, or Yooners as we now call them. Based upon yesterday's voting figures for their party, Yooners are about twenty percent of the population.

Luckily for the rest of us they are mostly beyond breeding age, so time is on our side, but while we still have them in our midst, please let's not be nasty towards them.

We should just smile nicely, and tap our heads knowingly, whenever we spot one.

It is the way that the cool people behave.

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