Saturday, 22 April 2017

Liberal Sex Scandals: Paddy Pantsdown, Jeremy Thorpe and the Spirit of Rinka, Woof! Woof!


A young fellow over at Facebook asked me if Paddy Ashdown became known as Paddy Pantsdown because of a homosexual scandal. I replied in the negative, since Pantsdown was created in 1992 as a result of getting involved in an extra-curricular leg over situation with his secretary five years earlier, and that secretary was very much a girl.


The confusion had come about because Jeremy Thorpe, a predecessor of Pantsdown as Leader of the Liberal Party had not only buggered a man, one Norman Scott, but had then tried to hire the most cack handed hitmen in Britain to kill him when Scott's persistent demands for money became insufferable.

All they managed to do was shoot dead Rinka, Scott's Great Dane, which was an animal, by the way, and not a well hung Scandinavian.

Eventually the whole sordid story came out and Thorpe and his gang were had up for attempted murder in 1979. 

Luckily for them, the prosecution had to rely on some fairly dubious characters, the judge was on their side, and the jury took the hint and found them all not guilty. Within days the late Peter Cook set up the judge in a masterpiece of satire that deserves another outing:


In the run-up to the trial we had the 1979 general election, which led Auberon Waugh to stand in Thorpe's constituency as the standard bearer of the Dog Lovers' Party. Alas for him, Thorpe took out an injunction to prevent distribution of his election address, but Waugh had published it as his weekly column in the Spectator. The magazine hastily withdrew as many copies as it could to comply with the injunction, but enough got out that, thanks to photocopiers, the address could see the light of day. Which is why people were telling each other: "Rinka is NOT forgotten. Rinka lives. Woof, woof. Vote Waugh to give all dogs the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness."

It emerged in the trial that Jeremy Thorpe was not a believer in the use of lube whenever he wished to exercise his pink oboe, because Norman Scott testified that he was forced to "bite the pillow and cry" when he was in receipt of that instrument. It is for this reason that the Liberal Democrats are still occasionally referred to as the Lubeless Dems even to this day, at least by me.

Now that the confusion between the two cases has been cleared up, it is important that I make it clear that I do not seek to influence your vote in any way. It may very well be that you believe that casting a ballot for a party that has been led by an admitted arse bandit who tried to hide the evidence of his banditry by having the witness bumped off, and then some years later by an illicit shagger is a vote for a decent and honourable party.

That is a matter for you and your conscience.

Thursday, 20 April 2017

Vote Labour and Defend the Pension Triple Lock


Do you trust the scummy Tories to keep the triple lock on pensions? The fuckers have been talking for some time now about getting rid of it, and this election offers them the perfect opportunity to do what Tories enjoy the most: reducing yet more people to poverty.

 

Labour has pledged to keep the triple lock until 2025 at the earliest, so if you are in your early 60s like me and want to avoid a retirement spent in poverty then a vote for Labour is what the Americans call a no-brainer.

Labour's One Chance of Victory


In the pub tonight, chatting with two old cronies from days of yore, and we tried to start a conversation about the election that nobody wants to even discuss all that much. Will Labour manage to get over the line to put into effect these quite sane policies that feature on the above pledge card?

Probably not, since the Tory lead is an insurmountable twenty points. It will most likely be reduced, but there will still be enough for a tasty majority that will almost certainly attack the triple lock on pensions. As I am due to get mine in five years, and the other two shortly afterwards, it looks like a poverty stricken old age for us and millions of others.

Then I remembered many years ago when someone rang me at my then house in Mexico and announced that he represented Conservatives Abroad, or some such outfit, and did I want to register to vote so that I could help choose our next Prime Minister?

I replied that I would not wish to be so presumptuous as to try and influence Her Majesty's choice as to who Her next Prime Minster should be.

He did not get the joke. The utter fuckwit who claimed to be a Tory activist did not get the joke. I think I just put the receiver down on him after a few moments of silence on his part.

We decided that the only hope Labour has is if dickheads like my caller all those years ago are now running the Tory election campaign.

Then we started talking about something else...

Tuesday, 18 April 2017

General Election Called for June: Uncle Ken's First Thoughts


Subject to a vote in the Commons tomorrow we will have a general election on the 8th June 2017, a fact which has taken many of us by surprise. My immediate reaction is that the Tories are odds-on to win with an increased majority, Labour are equally certain to remain the official opposition, the Liberal Democrats will win a few seats and the SNP will lose a few.

Labour is now a party which supports Brexit, albeit not the hard version that the Tories now seem to want. Thus, if you are a leftist who voted against the EU last June, a vote for Labour this June makes sense. It is safe to return to the fold, in other words, as Brexit is a done-deal. I have always thought that the eventual agreement that will lead the UK out of the EU would be one that would satisfy nobody very much, but which we can all sort of live with.

In Scotland the Tories are clearly on a roll, and could take a handful of seats off the SNP. The SNP are in a bit of a bind as the country is not just divided along pro and anti European lines but also along pro and anti independence ones as well. This may very well be an election in which some Scottish voters decide to resolve those conundrums by casting their ballots for British parties, and reserving their SNP votes for the Holyrood elections.

Will the people turn out to vote across the UK? There is a feeling across the board that we are all a bit weary of elections, and June comes hard on the heels of May, which is when many of us will be expected to vote in the local elections. All of this comes after the 2014 Scottish independence referendum, the UK general election in 2015, that was followed by the Scottish general elections in 2016 and then the Brexit vote later the same year.  I am a political enthusiast, but if I am getting weary of it all then God knows how the average punter feels.

We shall see what happens as the campaigns take off. My prediction is based on a reading of the situation today, but there is everything to play for, as there always is in a general election.

Saturday, 15 April 2017

Uncle Ken's Guide to STV Voting



The UK goes to the polls on the 4th May 2017 to elect councillors across the country. For people in Scotland that means working out the intricacies of the single transferable vote system which is used here at local level. It looks complicated, but fear not, 'cos once you get the hang of STV it becomes dead easy.

Each ward is multi-member with three or four candidates being chosen to represent it. The voters cast their ballots by writing a number next to a candidates name, starting with "1" and going as far down the ballot paper as they choose, or until they run out of candidates. So as far as we, the punters, are concerned it's just a case of listing the candidates based upon how much they appeal to us.

The easiest way to get elected is to have more first preference votes than the number set by the quota, and before your eyes start glazing over, lemme quickly explain how the quota is set. 

Right, you create the quota by dividing the number of eligible ballots returned by the number of seats to be filled, plus one. Then you take that number and add another one to it.

You eyes are glazing over, so let's have a concrete example: a ward has an election and one hundred ballots are returned that have been correctly filled in. Four councillors are to be elected, so you get the quota by dividing 100 into five, that being the four seats plus one. A hundred divided by five comes to twenty, so you take twenty, add one to it and get twenty-one. So twenty-one becomes the quota needed to get elected on the first round of counting in this mythical election.

A candidate who got thirty first preference votes would obviously be elected, but the beauty of STV is that the nine votes that he got above his quota of twenty-one would be distributed to his second preference candidate and could help that man be returned as well.

Once no other candidates can be elected via the first round, we go onto the second which is when the candidate who finished last is eliminated and his second preferences are distributed. If seats still need to be filled, the candidate who took the second last spot is then eliminated, and his second preferences are doled out, and so on until all the seats have been filled.

Sadly, the parties seem to think that they should only run two candidates in four seat wards, with Labour even trying to get its voters to cast a first preference for one candidate in one half of the ward, with a first preference for the other in the other half. There is no reason to do that under STV, since the system helps political parties. All Labour needs to do is tell people to vote for the party list, and if the first candidate goes well over quota, his second preferences are given out. If that candidate is then elected with votes to spare, the surplus is then given out to the third preference and so on.

Luckily for the left, a certain David Jacobsen is standing for the Socialist Labour Party, and hopefully Labour's activists will ask people to vote for him as their third preference.


Labour alone of all the parties has a very efficient electoral machine and activists who are willing to go and knock on doors to jolly the punters along. The other parties can mount street stalls, but that is not enough to get the vote out. Besides, people like it when candidates knock on their doors and at least go through the motions of trying to persuade us that they really do give a shit about our concerns.

All good fun that is coming our way on the 4th May 2017!

Tuesday, 11 April 2017

Federast Funnies 8


The Guardian's very own Mrs Grundy and the gang are on a roll tonight, but it serves the silly sods right for getting Al Murray to tell us that comedy has a liberal or leftwing bias, an idea which is bollocks of the highest order as I went along and pointed out:


So, some bloke comes along as tells me that I should be doing stand-up, to which I reply thusly:


Within minutes my comment had been culled by Mrs Grundy or one of her minions. Luckily for you, I tend to grab screenshots of my Guardian comments, 'cos I know how quickly the Guardianistas crawl into their safe spaces and scream for Mrs Grundy's help.

So, the honours of that go to the Brexiteers, but I would like that thank all the anally retentive Federasts who demanded that a jokey comment be removed from a story about humour.

Here's a real comedian showing them how comedy is really done:


That's all folks!

Monday, 10 April 2017

Get Your Signed Copy of The Brexit Collection Direct From the Author


The Brexit Collection is available from Amazon, your favourite bookshop or directly from the publisher at the low price of £6.99, with or without posting and packing, depending on the seller.

Signed copies are also available from me at the super low price of just a tenner, and that includes postage! Drop me a line and I will give you my details so that you can send a cheque, postal order or make a payment straight into my account. I can also accept PayPal payments, so get in touch if you want to pay by that method. 



Don't forget to let me know about any special dedications as they can be included at no extra cost!

I know that many of you have read The Brexit Collection as a Kindle for just £1.99, but think how marvellous it will be to have a signed copy on your bookshelf just in time for the visit by your sanctimoniously odious relatives who voted Remain and have never let you forget it. As soon as they see that you have a signed copy they will probably walk out of your house and never return, something which has got to be worth a tenner of anyone's money.

Our American friends don't need to feel left out, as I am quite happy to send a signed copy across the Atlantic for just $20.00, including international shipping.

Saturday, 8 April 2017

UKIP in Scotland is on its Last Legs


UKIP in Scotland is down to about 300 members according to sources within the party. So no wonder that David Coburn, the UKIP leader in Scotland, looks like a man who has just swallowed a turd, especially given the derisory response to the party's appeals for candidates to run in the Scottish local elections next month.

UKIP in the Lothian region which covers Edinburgh even promised putative candidates that they would only have to face a simplified vetting process, according to leaked internal emails. Alas, UKIP can only managed to field two candidates in the whole of Edinburgh, which is down from the half dozen or so who said that would consider standing. 

The problem seems to be that the party has lost what few sane and sensible people it had in Scotland, which was never very many to be honest. Alan Melville, who is both sane and sensible, has announced that he will stand as an independent for the Edinburgh council seat of Leith Walk, and this blog wishes him well, since the council chamber would benefit from his presence.

Given that UKIP cannot even manage more than 45 candidates across the whole of Scotland, we must ask ourselves why anyone bothers with the party, given that it achieved its aim of helping to force a referendum and then going on the help win it.

I may cast a preference for Alan Melville, as he is a decent bloke, but I think he made a wise move dumping UKIP.

Wednesday, 29 March 2017

Donald Tusk is Handed the Official Article 50 Notification


Sir Tim Barrow, the UK Ambassador to the European Union, hands over the formal letter announcing that the UK will leave the EU, to Donald Tusk, President of the European Council.



And I heard another voice from heaven, saying, Come out of her, my people, that ye be not partakers of her sins, and that ye receive not of her plagues.

Book of Revelations 18:4
Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.
Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/w/winstonchu163144.html
Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.
Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/w/winstonchu163144.html

Today is Article 50 Day


Theresa May signed the official notification of Article 50 last night and it will be handed in at 12.30pm today, just as this post goes live.


 And so, finally, and about nine months after it should have occurred, the UK has notified the EU that we are heading for the exit.

To be honest I don't want to quibble too much. It is not the fault of this government and civil service that all previous governments refused to allow the civil service to create a contingency plan for what we now call Brexit. It was as if Thatcher, Major, Blair, Brown and Cameron really thought that if there was no plan then Brexit was impossible. It wasn't and it isn't, but the lack of contingency planning has created this nine month hiatus which has only now come to an end.

Looking ahead there will be a period of willy-waving in London and Brussels as both sides set out their negotiating positions. Eventually, after many ups and downs, some deal will be cobbled together that will satisfy nobody much, but which we can all sort of live with.


We are lucky in that our enemies also happen to be types that the bulk of the British people despise. The Federast reaction is increasingly being seen as a comeback opportunity for the likes of Tony Blair, Peter Mandelson, George Osborne and the ever opportunistic Liberal Democrats. Their rank and file, inasmuch as it exists to any great extent, is made up of the local government non-job holders from the ever diminishing circle of Guardian readers. We do not need to engage with those scrotes: we can just simply ignore them.

By April 2019 it will all be over. Without a deal, our membership of the European Union will end on the 29th April 2019. Hopefully, much earlier than that, common sense will have prevailed and both sides will have cobbled  something together that the next generation can then argue about.

Either way, we are leaving the European Union, which is all that matters for now.

Monday, 27 March 2017

Few Young People Bothered to Attend the Edinburgh Anti-Brexit March


On Saturday I reported on the poorly attended Edinburgh march for Brussels, and today I want to return to that event and ask where were all the young people? Not many of them were to be seen walking in the Edinburgh sunshine, that's for sure.


That's not to say that everyone was elderly, but most people at the poorly attended event did seem to be ladies of a certain age and gentlemen with grey hair and walking sticks.


I arrived at about 12.45pm when the couple of hundred people who had assembled by then were very noticeable by their advancing years.


The crowd grew to about 500 or so by 1.30pm, and I concentrated on grabbing the video of them all walking past my spot. It was only later when I watched the video properly for the first time and looked at the faces that I realised that the ratio of young to old did not seem to have changed all that much. 


It may be that the kiddies felt that clicking like to the event on Facebook was sufficient, but they have spent the months since June 2016 telling us how outraged they are by the vote, and how they were only waiting for the opportunity to reverse it. The evidence of Saturday in Edinburgh is that actually the precious little snowflakes actually don't care all that much.




Saturday, 25 March 2017

Low Turnout at the March for Europe in Edinburgh


Last year's losers finally woke up today that we are about to leave the European Union and about 500 of them turned out in central Edinburgh to protest.


The Guardian claims that over a thousand showed up, but as you can see from the above video of mine, the true figure was about half that. Still it was a good day for Miss Jean Brodie and her friends, and it was nice to see so many small children being taken along by their parents. I am sure that their Polish nannies appreciated the day off.


As you might expect, the prettiest girls around were put at the front to give the photographers something to snap.


This being Scotland, there were also a few blokes in kilts.


A few SNP people turned up, and more than one of the people that I remember from the 2014 independence campaign were heard to mutter that if they had organised things instead of leaving it to the bloody students things would have gone a lot better.


Tommy Sheppard MP was there, although he does look in this photo as if he wished he wasn't.


As was Deidre Brock, my own MP, who always manages to be courteous. Don't ask me who the kid in the cheap suit is 'cos I have no idea, but he seemed friendly enough.

The sun shone, the 500 had their march, and on Wednesday the 29th March 2017, Prime Minster Theresa May will formally notify the European Union that we are leaving.

Still, at least Miss Jean Brodie and her chums got a day out.

Monday, 20 March 2017

Calls Grow for the SNP to Govern, Not Play Games


A rather amusing photo that plopped into my in-box today. Nicola Sturgeon is still head and shoulders about the opposition, but she has managed to make Ruth Davidson's Tories look as if they are not completely insane. All Davidson had to do was remind people that this is a government, and not a collection of student union activists, and that she has done rather well of late, helped by the SNP.

The problem is that the SNP really is a campaigning outfit, which exists to push for independence. Its members seem to have little or no interest in governing the country, which is a pity because when they set their mind to it the SNP can govern rather well. However, when they balls it up, they do that quite spectacularly as well.


Today I went along to a conference that discussed the Named Person wheeze, which was recently declared unlawful by the UK Supreme Court. Jim Sillars was one of the speakers, and he made the point that this lunatic bit of authoritarian legislation was passed by a parliament that sits for only three days a week, from 9.00am to 5.00pm. This flawed legislation, which aimed at putting parents under the thumb of the social work industry, was passed by the SNP dominated Holyrood with minimal objections to its poorly drafted wording. Sillars went on to say that in Westminster every line of a bill is considered, but in Holyrood there was not the requisite amount of time needed to do that, with the result that flawed legislation was passed.

You can bet that the SNP will dedicate even less time to sorting out disasters like this now that they are back into full campaigning mode for IndyRef 2.

Russia Replies to UK Troops In Estonia With Mockery


Who says the Russians don't have a sense of humour? This is from their London embassy's Twitter feed and gives their official response to the UK government's decision to send troops to Estonia to deter the Russians from invading that country. The fact that Vlad Putin has no intention of invading anybody is presumably neither here nor there. As you can see, the Russians took that nonsense about as seriously as the rest of us.

Let's be honest: given the unholy row that is looming on the Brexit horizon, should we even be thinking about alienating Russia at the moment? The negotiations that will lead to our withdrawal from the European Union look set to be pretty hairy, so having good relations with Moscow might come in handy. Especially if we need to up the stakes and give Angela Merkel a bowel-loosening reminder of glorious days of yore:

Saturday, 11 March 2017

Milo Yiannopoulos and University of Glasgow Feminists Entertain a Whole Country


Here's a good one to start the weekend off with. Some wits over at the University of Glasgow have nominated Milo Yiannopoulos as the university's new Rector. Needless to say the Fem. Soc. had kittens at the news and decided to call for a boycott of the vote.

Various people then pointed out to the girlies that boycotting the vote might just lead to Milo getting elected, so they had a rethink later that day:


The problem was that people were still passing round the original boycott call. So two days later the girlies decided that it might just be a good idea if they altered their original post:


Got that? Clear as mud, I'm sure.

The fems then decided that Milo should not even be allowed to stand for the Rectorship, and started a petition calling for the university to ban him, or something. Anyway, that petition reached a grand total of 3,000 signatures a week ago and has not managed to hit 3,500 even now.

Plan B involved threatening riots if Milo stands. Excuse me, but this is Glasgow we are talking about here, a city that regards street fighting as normal entertainment. Just like the Eskimos are supposed to have over a hundred words to describe snow, the Glaswegians have at least the same number to describe a brawl.


Meanwhile,  Milo Yiannopoulos has decided to pour petrol on the flames by promising to come to dear old Glasgow town to campaign in person.

This has all the making of lots of free publicity for Milo, plenty of outrage for the fems and a bundle of laughs for everyone else as we sit back and watch the cat fight.

Wednesday, 8 March 2017

The Brexit Collection Starts to Collect Reviews


The Brexit Collection has started to pick up reviews, a fact which pleases me no end. Neil Clark over at SputnikNews.com based his on the fact that the SNP used to oppose Brussels tooth and nail, but now wishes to turn Scotland into a province of the EU. Sputnik is Edinburgh based, and coming on the day that Jim Sillars announced that he will not vote for Scottish pseudo-independence, it looks as if the fightback here in Scotland against the EU is now definitely up and running.

The Amazon reviews have been uniformly positive, so let me give a big thumbs up to the blogger, David Lindsay, who was the first to review The Brexit Collection on the Amazon site.

I must be honest and say that I miss the hate-reviews that Brexit: For a New Country picked up from a few semi-literate Federasts, and I am hoping that this new book will attract a few of its own.


Under normal circumstances my attitude towards the Federasts and their opinions can be summed up with the above graphic, but on the principle that there is no such thing as bad publicity, let's hope that the sexually self-sufficient start leaving more reviews, written one-handedly, of course.

It may cheer them up as they face the totality of their defeat, but we Brexiteers will be on hand to remind them from now until the end of time that we are the winners!

Friday, 24 February 2017

The Brexit Collection: Now at Amazon and All Good Bookshops


The Brexit Collection is now available from Amazon and can be ordered from your favourite bookshop as well. Amazon claim that it is out of stock, but all that means is that there will be a delay of two or three days over their normal delivery time. The more people who order it now, the quicker that irritating notice will disappear.

If you are a Brexiteer then this book deserves a place on your bookshelf, not only so that you can relive the days of glory last year, but to annoy the shit out of any Federast who decides to bless you with his sanctimonious presence. If he sees The Brexit Collection in your house he may very well decide never to visit you again, which means that this paperback is a steal at just £6.99!

Remember: if you want a signed copy, all you have to do is drop me a line, and one will be yours for just a tenner.

Copeland Marks Another Milestone In Labour's Decline


The conclusion that can be drawn from yesterday's by-elections in Stoke and Copeland is that the Labour electoral coalition of bourgeois radicalism and working class labourism has reached the end of the road. It survived for over a century, which is not bad going when you think about it, but it has now run against the buffers.

So long as both sides took something out of the alliance, both were happy with it. The middle class could pontificate about internationalism and they could see their social policies enacted into law, whilst the working class had a party that kept the wages up and the management down. So long as there was a balance of forces both Labour wings kept each other more or less in check,  and the party shuffled on.

That balance has been upset by changes within the party which led to it becoming the voice of the local government employed polyocracy over the past few decades, a trend that accelerated as Labour in government did nothing to ensure that traditional working class jobs were protected.  

What Labour was good at was defending welfare, which is great if you are as disabled and elderly as I am, but most people are neither elderly nor disabled and they will not vote for a one-issue welfare party. Working people want jobs, and they do not want McJobs, either, no matter how well paid those jobs are. That is why McDonald's pays above minimum wage, but still cannot retain workers for very long.

Neither do they want jobs that involve them changing their culture, which is what Labour wants them to do. They want skilled industrial jobs that the wimps in suits cannot do, or unskilled jobs that involve heavy physical effort, which again the wimps in suits cannot do.

Neither wing of today's Labour speaks for the people who want such jobs, as they are both two cheeks of the same middle class arse. The so-called right which we call Blairite for short is the voice of those who are comfortable with the globalised world, but so is the Corbynite left. The difference is that the latter wants to spend more on foreign aid abroad and welfare at home, but neither appeal particularly to the millions who want the well-paid industrial work that they can take pride in doing.



Looking across the Atlantic, Donald Trump has probably set the stage for Britain's future as well as that of his own country. Nobody believed that the old industrial states could ever ever vote anything other than Democrat until Trump scooped them up in November 2016. The Democrats, like Labour in this country, wanted people to change, to become middle class, to get more money. Trump told the industrial working class that they could stay industrial working class and have more jobs to choose from as well as money in their pockets.

His protectionist policies are basically a watered-down version of the Alternative Economic Strategy that Labour's left argued for in the 1970s. Across the English Channel, Marine le Pen is advocating a souped-up version of those same policies: protectionism, an end to free movement of labour and state direction of large parts of the economy. 

Labour could move quickly and reinvent itself as a similar party - when all is said and done, a sizeable chunk of what Trump and le Pen advocate is actually old Labour left policy as well - but they won't. What Labour will do is scream fascist and waycist and do nothing that will get the party out of the hole that it has dig for itself.

The Tories under Theresa May could very well do that, and if that happens then Copeland will be the first of a whole slew of Northern English seats that will fall to the newly reinvented Tory Workers' Party.

Tuesday, 14 February 2017

The Brexit Collection Paperback Is Now available: Get a Signed Copy

The Brexit Collection is now available as a paperback at the very reasonable price of £6.99 plus postage. At the moment it is only available from the publisher's website, but Amazon and the other main booksellers will have it by the end of the month.

If you would like a signed copy then drop me a line and one will be yours for just a tenner, including postage. You can pay via cheque or PayPal.

I reckon that a copy of The Brexit Collection would look great on your bookshelf, and would be guaranteed to drive any Federast loser who sees it back into his safe space, where he can howl like a dog about how unfair life is.

Why Labour Should Win Stoke Central and Copeland


With just over a week to go until both Stoke Central and Copeland elect their new MPs, I am going to stick my neck out and say that Labour will hold both seats on the 23 February. Of course, that prediction could go tits up with the Tories taking Copeland and UKIP grabbing Stoke, but my call is that I don't think they will.

Copeland is that rarity in today's politics of a working class seat where the people actually have jobs. A lot of them are employed at Old Leaky, as the Sellafield nuclear plant is called by cynics everywhere, which means that there are strong unions that are affiliated to Labour, with shop stewards and conveners who will help get the vote out.

Thanks to that the local Labour party has a sizeable membership that consists of people who do real jobs, rather then working in the teaching trade or social work industry. The party can be expected to have its finger on the local pulse, which is probably why Jeremy Corbyn has decided to stay away. 

Given that Labour has a fully functioning machine in Copeland, we can expect that the postal voters have already been contacted and jollied along into returning their ballots already. Canvassers will be knocking on the doors of people who have voted Labour in the past, and reminded that it is time to turn out for the old cause once again.

Luckily, Labour has some ready made issues in Copeland that it can use to attack the Tories. Chief amongst them is the scandal involving the government's desire to close down part of the local hospital, a matter that Labour has a track-record of opposing.

Stoke Central is a seat that Labour does not deserve to hold, and the fact that it probably will is proof positive that there is no justice in the political world.

The Labour candidate Gareth Snell is appalling, with one Stoke source telling me that he not only looks like a potato, but has the intellect of one as well. Snell campaigned actively for Brussels in the referendum in a division that gave almost seventy percent of its vote to leave. All in all this is a seat that UKIP should walk, but thanks to their stupidity, it looks like they will fail yet again.

To be fair to UKIP, they have probably fulfilled their historic mission of getting us out of the European Union. There is no need for UKIP to act as anything other than a pressure group now that both main parties are united in their desire to wave goodbye to the EU.

Gareth Snell has enough common sense to realise that trying to refight the battle is a waste of time and has made his peace with the Brexiteers. He has also been seen walking in the constituency with Jeremy Corbyn, so nobody can accuse him of not being a loyal party man.

As I write, what is left of the Labour machine in Stoke will have cranked itself into action to ensure that loyal voters either turn out on the day or send in their postal ballots.

None of that would be enough to win a seat that Labour has treated with such utter contempt down the years had it none been for the fact that UKIP really has proved that it is the Dad's Army of British politics.

It is not just the dubious claims that their candidate and leader Paul Nuttall has supposedly made about holding a PhD, playing professional football, being at Hillsborough when so many Liverpool fans died or living at an address in Stoke that he didn't. All of them can be explained away as the actions of enthusiastic amateur volunteers, but the fact that more and more of these old claims are seeing the light of day suggests to a lot of people that Nuttall is a fantasist or that UKIP are run by rank incompetents.

A party that is so incompetent cannot be expected to run an efficient campaign, and sure enough, UKIP's campaign looks as if Fred Karno is heading it. Kippers do not want to knock on doors, what they want to do is write letters to the press, presumably in green ink, concerning their latest hobby horse. The party cannot send in trained organisers to knock heads together because, I am assured by sources in UKIP, those organisers were all loyal to Nigel Farage and left with him. 

Put everything together, UKIP stupidity, Tory vileness, and local Labour parties in both Copeland and Stoke that are determined to win, and my guess is that Labour will hold both seats next week.

Friday, 10 February 2017

The Brexit Collection is now Available on Kindle



The Brexit Collection contains Brexit: For a New Country, Why Scotland Should Leave the EU and One Man's Brexit: three pamphlets that were originally published in 2016 as part of the campaign to free the United Kingdom from the clutches of the European Union. Now available in one volume, with a new introduction and afterword, as a reminder of a glorious victory that will never be forgotten.

The afterword looks at pretty much all the pathetic, whining complaints that the Federasts still come out with as they desperately try to delegitimise the vote, and then provides a caustic answer to all those charges.

At just £1.99 this e-book is a perfect memento of a day that will live in our hearts forever.

The paperback version will be out by the end of this month!

Wednesday, 8 February 2017

The Commons Votes for Brexit


The House of Commons has just voted by a massive 494 to 122 to pass the Brexit Bill with no amendments, thus ratifying the will of the people as expressed on the 23 June 2016.

As MPs trooped through the lobbies, some of Federasts who were still in the chamber began to sing what sounded like the old Rhodesian national anthem to me, which is amusing since the Rhodesians were a bunch of losers as well.


It is unlikely that the Lords will now have the temerity to oppose both the people and the Commons by putting down amendments of their own, so all being well, we can begin to say with great glee:

Brexit Means Brexit!

Tuesday, 7 February 2017

Paul Nuttall & UKIP Seem Determined to Lose Stoke


The UKIP campaign to get Paul Nuttall elected in Stoke Central is probably the best hope that Labour has to hold the seat.

As I reported yesterday, UKIP's campaign seems to consist of idiots saying idiotic things which they think we cannot check. UKIP could argue that these are the antics of enthusiastic amateurs, but the scandals surrounding party leader Paul Nuttall show that amateurism goes right to the top.

Take the fake CV which seems to show that Nuttall once played professional football for Tranmere Rovers and holds a PhD from Liverpool Hope University. These have sort of been explained away as errors made by aides, which may very well be true, but not the point. Errors like that are not made by serious political parties: even the Greens don't make those embarrassing mistakes so there is no excuse for UKIP.

Then we had the strange case of Nuttall's address. He gave a Stoke address on his nomination papers, so a TV crew was sent to the house only to find that it was empty. Nuttall was then interviewed and the fool said that he was about to move in to the property.



That may very well have been the case, but he wasn't living there when his nomination papers were signed. Nutall then chose to argue the toss with the crew by saying that since he was moving in, that is somehow the same as actually having moved in earlier when the papers were signed.

On one level this is all trivial, tiresome and probably will not impinge on the local conciousness, but it also suggests a level of incompetence that is breathtaking to put it mildly. When the circus clowns of UKIP come up against the Labour election machine, you should normally put money on the machine, not the clowns.

Monday, 6 February 2017

UKIP's Stupidity Could Give Labour Victory in Stoke


If you are gonna do a smear, then do it properly, that's what I say. Do not do as UKIP are currently doing and fuck it up so that people then laugh at you rather than take notice of your smear. 

Take the above image as a case in point. The original photo is on the left, and then some fucktard decided to Photoshop an English flag on it, which is the image on the right. However, being fucktards they forgot that if they can find the original photo on the web, then so can we. 

They also managed to balls up the fake by failing to reproduce the flag properly. Just look at the cross and see how the downward line is broken by the horizontal one. An obvious Photoshop error, which is repeated in the small flag on the far house, which means they used the same image twice.


Then we have this puerile example, with the genuine photo on the top, and the UKIP fake beneath it. Again, easy to find the original, and why in the name of God's left bollock did the Kipper smear team not learn how to blend the inserted image of the bird in the black bin liner seamlessly into the original photo? I mean, everything about this screams fake, doesn't it?

Finally, let's consider the smear which isn't, but UKIP are too stupid to realise that. They have started telling people that back in 2010, Gareth Snell described the aspirational capitalist arsewipes who appear on shows like The Apprentice as "rancid twat bags."

In a one-class town like Stoke, where the only people hated more than the employers are those who arselick the employers, how is that going to help UKIP? 

All it does is make Labour's candidate more agreeable to the voters that Labour used to ignore.

UKIP had an open goal in Stoke, but all they are doing is ballsing it up. If Labour holds this seat it will be because the UKIP opposition are so God awful.
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