Wednesday, 13 March 2019

Have the ERG Loons Really Taken Over The Asylum?


I planned to retire from anything other than gardening following the 2016 Brexit vote, but since the lunatics of the ERG really do seem to have taken over the asylum, it looks as if I will have to drag my aching carcass back into the line. Restarting this blog is the first step on that sorry progress, in case you were wondering.

Let's look at where we can go from here. Yesterday, seventy-five Tories, mainly from the ERG, voted with Labour to derail our country's withdrawal agreement with the EU. Ostensibly, they claimed that this would lead to a no-deal Brexit, but today a motion will go before the House of Commons to rule that out. If the no-dealers get a hundred votes they will be very lucky indeed.

A motion cannot override legislation, so the next step will probably be to delay Brexit by legislation. The EU has said that the UK can have such an extension provided it does not go beyond the end of May. If we want a longer period then we have to show cause why it should be granted; so a general election or second referendum would be needed as an inducement.

Rationally, what this means is that the Withdrawal Agreement can be brought back in the hope that eventually a measure of sanity will prevail in Tory ranks, but I have my doubts about that; or rather, I suspect that more than a few ERG wallahs are actually closet Federasts.

I am old enough to remember when Tory MPs banged the drum for capital punishment and promised that if there was ever a vote on the matter, they would restore the rope. After the 1983 elections, such a bill went before the Commons and was defeated easily. Most of the Tories had just been mouthing off to keep their voters happy but when push came to shove they rejected the death penalty.

So they have form at those games and in the case of  Sarah Wollaston MP is one to keep in mind. She was a committed Brexiteer until about five minutes before the referendum and then she jumped ship to the other side. Finally, she abandoned the Tories completely and went over to the newly formed Independent Group. An extreme case, perhaps, but I wonder how many other Tories are quieter versions of her?

Extending the period for our withdrawal to May gives plenty of time for the loonies to be brought face to face with the reality of the situation that they have caused. If more of them can be brought onside then those Labour MPs who represent Leave constituencies and who want to keep their seats can be expected to vote with the government. However, they will not use up their political capital doing that unless they think that the agreement will pass with their help. 

It isn't over yet by a long stretch, but everything hinges on enough Tory MPs leaving the lunatic asylum and going to the Commons to vote for an end to this torture.


Sunday, 6 January 2019

New Year 2019 Blog Update


A belated Happy New Year to one and all. As we head towards the Brexit that many of us have argued for over many a long decade I hope that 2019 marks a turning point in all our fortunes.

The blog has been on ice for many months and to be honest I do not know when or even if it will restart again. A lot happened in mid-2018 which forced me to suspend my blogging and now that my health has taken a further dip from bad to worse I do not know if I can face the grind of regular blog posts.

I was threatened with homelessness last summer when Mrs McRachman, my landlady, decided that she wanted her flat back and gave me notice to quit. Luckily, I managed to get a very nice housing association flat which should do me for the rest of my life, but the upheaval meant that keeping the blog alive was the last thing on my mind.

Now, many months later, we are still in dispute about the deposit that I want to be returned. The matter is under arbitration, but preparing the case for the arbitrator was not something that I could do in five minutes. I approached it as if I were doing university finals again which meant that everything else was just put to one side and ignored.

Then, as we headed into the end of the year, HMG wrote to me to say that my Disability Living Allowance was coming to an end and that I should apply for Personal Independence Payment. I have the medical examination for that to look forward to next week and then the appeal when my claim is rejected. I hope to win that appeal, but it will take about 18 months and will pretty much dominate everything during that period.

Why do I expect to have to appeal? Well, because PIP was brought in by the Tories to do over the disabled and save the government money.

So that's the situation with me. If I get my personal circumstances sorted out then I may restart the blog. If I don't then I won't, but I am still alive and still swinging punches as best I can against a regime and a system that I despise.

Have a great 2019 folks!

Tuesday, 21 August 2018

Santa Muerte


Interest in the Santa Muerte has finally taken off in the UK and I have a small stock of Santa Muerte items that will allow you to create an altar to the Dark Goddess in your home. As far as I am aware I am the only seller of Santa Muerte merchandise in the UK and I have no idea when new supplies will arrive.

The Secrets of the Santa Muerte



This book gives a brief history of the Dark Goddess, before telling the readers everything they need to know about the spells and incantations that are used by her adherents. This is a must-have book for anyone who wishes to enter into the service of the Dark Lady of the Shadows and receive the benefits that she bestows upon her followers.

Available from Amazon and all good bookshops, a signed copy of The Secrets of the Santa Muerte can be yours for just £10.00 plus P&P. Just drop me a line and let me know if you want a special dedication to someone and then wait for the postman to deliver your exclusively signed copy.

Statuettes



These 5" statues are perfect for a small altar in a tiny flat, and since they are moulded in one piece they are virtually unbreakable. Black is the traditional colour of the Santa Muerte but as you can see, I also have the rainbow statuettes as well.


Each and very statuette, no matter what size has been charged with sacred seeds in its base and then blessed with the secret words of power by a Santa Muerte adept as part of the production process in the Mexican artisan workshops.


The 5" statuettes sell for just £15.00, plus P&P.


I have a small stock of 7" black statuettes that show the Dark Goddess with a scythe. They are made from the same acrylic as the small statuettes but are hollow inside and so weigh less.

The 7" statuettes sell for £20.00 plus P&P.


Finally, certainly as far as statuettes are concerned, I present the 9" rainbow beauty of which I only have a couple available.

These statuettes sell for £25.00 plus P&P.

Double-Sided Amulets



A double-sided cloth amulet showing the Santa Muerte in black on one side and red on the other would be perfect as part of your altar rituals. The amulets are 4" long and 3" wide and are rare, even in Mexico. They are made in small sewing shops by female adepts and blessed by them before being offered for sale.

The amulets sell for £10.00 plus P&P

Conjuration Cards



Conjuration cards are very common in Santa Muerte worship with the large 4" x 3" ones often to be found on an altar. The reverse of each card contains a prayer or spell in Spanish.

Four large conjuration cards are priced at just £5.00


Small 3" x 2" cards are often carried in the wallet or purse and each one comes in its own plastic wallet. 


The set of 12 cards costs £10.00 plus P&P.

Incense



Incense is used a lot in Mexican rutuals with most people using standard church incense. However, specially blessed Santa Muerte incense sticks are available and I have a small stock of them here in the UK. Each pack contains 20 sticks and they are used for special rituals such as love, domination, attraction etc. Please drop me a line and I will tell you what I have in stock on the day as my supplies of incense are running low.

A pack of 20 incense sticks sells for £5.00 plus P&P.

Postage and Packing:

The book on its own, an amulet or the conjuration cards can be sent for £2.50 P&P. I could probably get the book and the cards into one envelope for that price, but if you wanted all three the price would be £5.00 for  a large letter.

Anything else needs to go as a parcel at a cost of £10.00. However, for that price I could get pretty much everything into one box and it would be sent to be signed for at your end, so there is no danger of it getting lost in transit.

How to order:

Drop me an email with your wishlist and I will let you know if the items are available.

Your payment can then be made via PayPal - ask me for the email address - and your items will be in the post as soon as possible. Remember: all parcels will be sent via registered post so you will get a tracking number and have to sign for the delivery.

¡Asi Sea!

Sunday, 19 August 2018

How to Play With the Federast Mind at the Edinburgh Fringe


The federast mind is truly a joy to behold and then laugh at. The other day I was glugging a pint or three outside a pub on Edinburgh's Royal Mile when three couples arrived and began to look at the list of beers that were on a board by the door.

"I don't know what 80/- means," said one girl who made up for her lack of knowledge with large breasts.

"The forward slash is the symbol for shillings I told her," being the decent soul that I am.

"Why is it called that?"

"Well, 'cos that was the tax paid on a barrel of the stuff back in the day," I replied. "Although these days it costs more than 80 bob for a pint of it," I concluded, ever willing to be helpful.

"What exactly is a shilling?" 

"It's a twentieth of a pound, back when we had real money."

"Oh."

"Better start to get used to it, as after we leave the EU all that is coming back," I said. I think the Devil was inspiring me.

"Noooo! You cannot be serious! You're joking, aren't you?

"I'm dead serious, first we get Fahrenheit back, then imperial weights and measures and then pounds. shillings and pence," I said, with my best poker face. 

"I've never heard that," said one of the blokes, in that languid drawl that the English middle class has which makes the rest of us feel murderous.

"You can trust me, I said, pointing to my Brexit T-shirt. "I'm part of the Brexit team that's working on it."

I was expecting them to burst out laughing at this, congratulate me on being a fine wag and then buy me a pint, or at least join me at the table so I could continue getting an eyeful of the girl with the bouncers but they just started looking at one another before drifting away from both the pub and me.

So, if you read in the Guardian that the Brexiteers are planning to restore the old British currency, you will know that the tale started from wicked old Uncle Ken who made it up one day in Edinburgh during the Festival.

Thursday, 9 August 2018

Edinburgh Fringe Time Rolls Around Again


If it's August then it's Edinburgh Festival time when the English middle-class come up here to laugh at the same jokes, read the same publicity for the same shows published in the Guardian and tell each other how diverse they all are.

Yes, I know, you do see the odd Japanese or Indian tourist looking very bewildered by it all, but most ethnic types are to be found sweeping the streets or serving behind the bars. Think of South Africa in the old days, but without the legal enforcement and you will have a very good idea of what this city is like in August.


The satirists are still regurgitating their shows from two years ago, and still don't get the notion that satire is about sticking the boot into power, not pandering to the prejudices of those who already have it. I would find the idea of edgy satire far edgier and a lot more satirical if it took the piss out of the privileged Guardianistas, but nevermind. The Edinburgh Fringe would not be what it is if it did not involve thousands of people reinforcing their values to one another. 


This character gave a good impression of Donald Trump, Laughing at the real Trump's voter who are people who haven't had a pay rise in real terms for over a generation and who the real Trump is providing jobs for thanks to his protectionist policies, is something that the well-fed Fringers just love doing.


Give this fellow credit for not trying to be edgy, just entertaining. For a tip, he will knock out a one-page poem or short story for you. I heard him explain to one putative punter of about his own age that actually it was really hard because if you made a mistake you couldn't just press the non-existent backspace key and delete it. How did the world manage without personal computers? 

I reflected on that as I made my way to the pub to get the taste of a city chock full of sanctimonious, self-righteous, middle-class gits out of my mouth with a pint of beer.

Tuesday, 31 July 2018

Post-Brexit Food Supplies: Why You Should Stop Worrying


I hate the silly season these days, I really do. The dog days when Parliament is in recess so hacks do not get easily digested stories to regurgitate and have to invent stuff used to be fun, but now it has become tiresome. The main reason for this tiresomeness is the nonsense that the EU will blockade the UK and try to starve us into submission. If you think about it, this is not just tiresome, it is wank of the highest order.

A blockade of Britain such as the Federasts fantasise over is one step away from a declaration of war. For that reason alone, the EU is highly unlikely to even consider such a move. Wars have begun over less as one side tries to pressure the other and the end result is a lot of dead people. The USA tried to pressure Japan into withdrawing from Manchuria in 1941 by cutting off Japan's supplies of iron and oil. The Americans wanted Japan to back down but what they got instead was Pearl Harbour. No, the EU may be many things, but it is is not as stupid as to do that.

Another reason why a blockade is pretty much out of the question is that it would hurt an awful lot of peasant-type farmers in places like Spain who would see their major market suddenly drying up. They may very well be peasants but even peasants have votes these days so do you really believe that all those voters would just shrug their shoulders at the thought of seeing their own families go hungry and their farms declared bankrupt, just to please the EU hierarchy? 

So, exports to Britain from the EU will continue, but the problem is that the EU is quite likely to make life difficult for British exports to them. In theory, we could end up with chaos at out ports because exporters' trucks are jamming up the facilities and imports cannot get through. That is not the fault of the EU if it happens, and the blame can be placed on our government.

Given such a crisis, exporters will have to be prohibited from approaching the port unless all their paperwork is in order before they leave home. If that is done then, as the blogger Richard North pointed out, the posts should remain open for imports and supplies will get through speedily. Given that this is the same Richard North whose alarmist posts on the possibility of imports not arriving probably helped encourage the press to start their fearmongering campaign, it is good to read common sense like this from him.

Leading from all this, British farmers who export to the EU will probably dump their produce on the home market, especially if the government pays them a subsidy to encourage them, so many food items can be expected to fall in price and that is even before we start receiving supplies from the wider world. 

The only problem we have is do we trust this government not to cock-it all up? Can they be trusted to ensure that exporters do not panic and block the ports, for instance?

The question was rhetorical because of course, we can't. This government is a shower and there could be a short period when supplies do get disrupted because the shower has reverted to type and failed in its duties. For that reason, as I recomended in A Sensible Prepping Guide, it is the responsibility of all sensible people to keep a small stock of non-perishable food in the pantry to tide a family over if there are short-term disruptions to supplies for any reason.

What that means is do not wait until March next year and then panic-buy. Start now and add a few extra items to your weekly shop and you will have your supplies ready and waiting for whatever problems do occur. If nothing happens, which I still feel is the likeliest outcome, then you can rotate them though as part of your normal family meals, but do continue to keep your larder well stocked.

You never know when we might have another vile winter when you will need that pantry, and weather concerns me more than fearmongering from the press over Brexit.

Thursday, 26 July 2018

Enjoy the Weather With Sensible Preparations for Next Year's Brexit Day


When I wrote A Sensible Prepping Guide earlier this year, the theme that ran through the book was the need to prepare for life's little vicissitudes by planning ahead.  That does not mean investing in a tinfoil hat and fantasising about the end of civilisation as we know it, rather it just means being aware of the stones that life tends to hurl at us and doing our best to avoid them.

In winter it gets cold, and sometimes when the thaw arrives the water pipes tend to burst, so keeping a couple of gallons of water in a cupboard makes sense to me. Similarly, the just in time system of distribution will tend to fall down in extreme weather conditions so having a pantry that is stocked with a month's worth of dry and canned foodstuffs is also a sensible way to live.

What you can't do is deal with an emergency on the hoof. Well, you can try, but it will probably end in tears or a great deal of hard work. It's being reported that shops in many parts of the country have sold out of their entire supply of electric fans and given the tropical weather that we are enjoying this year that is hardly a surprise. What is a surprise is that seemingly everyone is trying to buy their fans now, an attitude that I find completely ludicrous.

I bought my nice, 14" table fan in the late autumn of 2011. It was put in storage and every year in about May it gets hauled out and plugged in. Most years I only use it for a few days, but this year it has been running pretty much all the time. Come October it will go back into storage for another year, and that's the way to do it. My bedroom is kept cool with a fan heater that has a cold setting and that keeps the bedroom nice and airy by the way.

So the key to getting by is to make sensible plans for the future. It is not to start panicking as the readers of the Guardian are doing by worrying that food will no longer arrive in the country when we leave the European Union next year. Even if you are worried about a new version of Napoleon's Continental Blockade taking the Guardian's wanky, panicky advice is most certainly not a good idea and neither is reading the insane below the line comments from the paper's sexually self-sufficient readers.

So relax, enjoy the nice weather and if like me you don't really trust today's government or its system not to cock things up, then create a pantry for yourself with non-perishable foodstuffs that you enjoy eating and rotate them through the year, restocking as your supply gets low.

Live a sensible life, in other words, and stop believing anything you read in the Guardian.
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