Friday, 17 October 2014

It's official: UKIP really is a pussy party

Well, I have been saying for quite some time that UKIP is top-heavy with cunts, and this seems to be the proof.

For those of you who don't have a Filipino - English dictionary to hand, that's what puki means down there, as it were...

Sunday, 12 October 2014

Brooks Newmark stops being cocksure

Do we need to rerun the story of Brooks Nemark's downfall? Of course we do, if only for the laughs that it provides. Brooksie is the fat, balding, middle aged Tory minister who thought that svelte young things would enjoy seeing photos of his corpulent flesh, so he was in the habit of sending photos of his naked self to just about anyone female. The problem was that the girl on the left was actually a male freelance journalist who had nicked the photo of a Swedish fashion model to use as bait, and Brooksie sent a selfie that showed him wearing paisley jimjams with his dick sticking out of them. It's not just the fact that he is fat, balding and middle-aged that has made the internet roar with laughter. What tickles everyone's funny bone is that he thinks that paisley jimjams are sexy!

What can we say? Brooksie is claiming that he is suffering from some convenient mental disorder and has scampered off to a psychiatrist to have his head shrunk. However, that leads us to ask what was David Cameron thinking about when he appointed this head the ball in the first place? How can anyone trust a government that has people like Brooksie in it ranks?

Not only that, but even though he has promised to step down at the next election, why should the good people of Braintree be forced to endure  this buffoon as their member until May next year - he should resign now and let the people choose someone who hopefully has a bit more self awareness than this fool has so far displayed.

Finally, it emerged in today's Sun on Sunday that he was so cocksure of himself that at least one genuine woman was in receipt of a photo of the honourable member's member:

When the Murdoch press is laughing at the Tories, you just know that they are heading for defeat in just a few short months.

Sunday, 28 September 2014

Another Tory MP set to defect to UKIP on Saturday, as minister resigns in sex scandal

A UKIP source has told me that another Tory MP is set to defect to the Purples on Wednesday, so as to cause maximum humiliation to David Cameron on the day that he makes his speech to the Conservative conference. The purples are reported to be concerned that the Tories will manage to out this man before then, so UKIP are trying their best to keep a lid on the situation for the rest of the week ahead. A pity that their senior figures were talking strategy over more than a few beers in a pub within earshot of my source.

Yesterday saw the defection of Mark Reckless MP to UKIP as well as the resignation of Brooks Newmark MP, who was caught sending photos of himself in his jim-jams with his cock thrusting forth for what he fondly imagined was the delectation of a young woman. Alas for him it turned out to be a sting by the Sunday Mirror and the recipient was not only a journalist, but a man to boot.

As if all that wasn't enough, a new opinion poll of three key UKIP target seats show the Tories losing Boston & Skegness along with North Thanet to the Purples, but Labour increasing its majority in Rotherham.

Brooks Newmark isn't the only Tory with his dick hanging out during this Black September for the Tories, who are increasingly seen as in office but no longer in power. 

Tuesday, 23 September 2014

Everyone's a doctor when it comes to the disabled

Meet William Stanway, who is a nine year old cerebral palsy sufferer. Quite rightly, his mother gets a blue badge for her car which can be used when Bill is with her. Recently the two of them went shopping in a Stoke supermarket, and returned to find this charming note on the car windscreen.

Needless to say,outraged mum,Joanne Harris got in touch with the local press and hopefully the buffoon who left the note is now feeling thoroughly humiliated, but that is not the point.

I can only speak for myself, but I am really sick and tired of the fact that when it comes to disability, everyone seems to fancy themselves as a doctor who can tell at a glance when someone is swinging the lead or not.

Not only that, but when proved to be wrong, they fall back on the line that the system is being routinely abused. In other words they pull figures out of their bums.

What do the disabled have to do just to be left alone by these idiots?

Monday, 22 September 2014

Labour is happy to work with the National Front

The Scottish Labour Party seemed to have entered into an agreement to support not only big business, but also the Scottish National Front to get people to vote No in the recent Scottish referendum:

As you can see from the poster on display in Aberdeen on the 13th September, Labour now reckons that it is "Best for Business," and never mind the people that private business has left on the cobbles in its drive for profits.

The woman standing on the right of the photo seems to be Sarah Boyack MSP, but who is the baldie at the front?

Here he is again, this time with Dame Anne Begg MP:

He is Dave MacDonald, leader of the Scottish National Front, a party which thinks that the BNP is far too liberal for their tastes.

Clearly they don't feel that way about New Labour, and given the smiles all round, New Labour seems to be very happy with them.

Here's Dave with some of his other mates, showing off their NF banner on the same day that he was photographed with the Labour crowd.

So, the New Labour Party is happy to mix with big business, the Tories, the Orange Lodges and now the National Front.

Is it any wonder that their core vote of unskilled and semi-skilled people who live on the estates are dropping the party like a hot brick?

Sunday, 21 September 2014

West Dunbartonshire strikes blow for freedom!

Who says you can't have a laugh about politics even in defeat? Some clever bugger has paid a visit to the West Dunbartonshire Wikipedia page and made a few alterations. Sometime tomorrow when the council workers who are responsible for this page find out I have no doubt that everything will be switched back to normal, but here's a link to an archived copy.

Killer text:

West Dunbartonshire is administered from Dumbarton, although Clydebank is the largest town. On September 18th 2014, West Dunbartonshire was one of four council regions along with North Lanarkshire and the cities of Glasgow and Dundee, to present a majority 'Yes' vote in the Scottish Independence Referendum. Just under 54% of the electorate voted in favour of independence, casting 33,720 Yes votes compared to the 27,776 (46%) No votes. Many residents were overheard discussing the benefits of "no bein shitebags" and actually taking the opportunity to kick the Tories in their collective metaphorical ballsack. Another hot topic was the economic possibilities of independence and how the "toon centre" could become more than pubs, bookies and "pish stained alkies". 

As such, the area is considered a sovereign region, comprised of those brave enough to truly proclaim themselves Scots. This bastion of fairness and equality has thrown off the shackles of Westminster to forge ahead for the betterment of society, leaving behind the fearful and meek people of other council areas in Scotland to ponder the consequences of them jobbying themselves at the polling stations.

Whoever you are: nice work!

Saturday, 20 September 2014

Labour may be the real losers in the IndyRef campaign

A lot of people in Scotland are devastated by the failure of the country to vote for independence on Thursday, but it may very well be that Labour will turn out to be the main loser in all of this.

Capitalism is very good at giving enough people enough prosperity to leave them feeling that they have a stake in the system. Then capitalism creates a fear in their hearts that their little bit of prosperity will be taken away from them. Finally, capitalism encourages those people to think that they are superior to the ones below them. We can think of this bunch as the middle class, or take the New Labour line that they are aspirational, but I prefer to think of them as the pissants who are terrified that the anthills that they piss from will be removed. On Thursday the 18 September 2014 those pissants turned out in force to hold onto their anthills.

New Labour led the charge to keep the United Kingdom together by directly appealing to the Scottish pissants. There was nothing in the Better Together campaign that owed anything to the old Labour ideology of progress and collective action for a better tomorrow. Instead, it aimed at nothing more that persuading pissants to be afraid of the future.

Those pissants were joined by a chunk of Protestant working class voters from the far right who regarded the Nationalists as wicked Communists, who were probably all Papists to boot.

It was the Orange march in Edinburgh on the 13 September which seems to have given the pissants their second wind. Certainly by the following Monday, rather a lot of windows had suddenly gained No posters, as the pissants realised that if push came to shove they had a army of bootboys who could be relied on to do the fighting for them.

Also by last Monday, New Labour persuaded the Tories and Liberal-Democrats to sign up to a hastily drawn up back of an envelope deal to give Scotland the maximum devolution that the SNP had asked for but which the Tory government had rejected two years ago.

That was probably the clincher because it gave the pissants the excuse to vote No and feel self-righteous about it as well. The middle class are very good at cloaking their self-interest in sanctimonious gittery, so New Labour gave them the perfect opportunity to say that this was not about fearing the loss of their anthills, it really was about the public good.

It worked, as we know. The pissants, feeling that they had backing of the thuggish Orangemen and given a moral fig-leaf by New Labour's backroom deal with the other parties, slunk off to the polling stations to vote No.

The problem that New Labour has is that its core vote did not support the party, as large numbers of formerly loyal Labour people trooped off to vote Yes. Now the national party has been caught in a bind as it has saved the United Kingdom, and lost the bulk of its voters in the process.

The party will hope to repair the damage by pushing through the Devo-Max wheeze before the May general election, but the Tories are already reneging on the promise that they signed up to less than a week ago. If the pledge is not honoured then it is impossible to see New Labour holding onto its working class strongholds. If that happens, then the Nationalists will be invigorated because they will be able to claim that the Unionists did not keep their pledge, and thus start a new drive for independence.

It would be one of the great ironies of history that by mobilising pissants to save the United Kingdom, Labour destroyed itself in Scotland. Doubly ironic if it turns out that all the party did was delay independence by a few short years, rather than stop it dead.