Saturday 9 May 2015

English refugees brave River Tweed to seek sanctuary in Scotland

Thousands of panic stricken English refugees from rampant Toryism are reported to be braving the raging torrents of the River Tweed to seek sanctuary in Scotland. A resettlement centre has been set up in Moffat where volunteers are deep-frying Mars Bars to feed the hungry masses.

A Scottish government spokesman has been reported as saying that the bill for all this will be sent to England...

Update: Roads into Scotland are packed with refugees.

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