Monday 26 June 2017

Tories Admit That the Magic Money Tree Really Does Exist!

The first photo has emerged of the magic money tree which the Tories claimed didn't exist. Actually it does and it grows in Northern Ireland, which is why today several large men in bowler hats were seen pushing wheelbarrows away from Downing Street, loaded with £1 billion worth of fertiliser for it.

Let's look on the bright side, the Democratic Unionist Party may be a trifle too conservative for me, but when it comes to economic matters they are on the far left, and that's all that matters right now. So the Tories have had to drop their plans to screw pensioners by abolishing the triple-lock, keep winter fuel payments, and dump their plans to reduce care for the elderly. As someone who is looking forward to getting a whacking great pay rise when he goes on pension in 2022, all I can say is thank fuck the cry really is No Surrender!

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