Thursday 4 May 2017

Uncle Ken Voted Tory Today!

I voted Tory today for the first time ever! Don't worry, I haven't taken leave of my senses, as Scotland uses single transferable vote for the local elections and there were ten candidates for four seats in my ward. I just had to put the Greenies in at number ten, so that meant giving the Tories my ninth preference, just ahead of the Lubeless Dem no-hoper, who I hope will bite the pillow and cry tomorrow.

As you can see, there was nothing subtle about the Tory agitprop, with the Unionist message being up close and personal. I was sorry to see that they had not managed to get men in bowler hats to stand around the street, playing flutes and banging drums, but we live in hopes that they will turn out next month.

To be fair, the SNP have been just as bad, but managed to be a bit more discrete about their latest campaign for independence. Still, it has been made clear across social media that they are after a high vote as part of the IndyRef2 campaign, which is tough shit for those of us who want to drive our cars on the left of the road, and not what is left of the roads.

Yes, as far as I am concerned this is really about local councillors for local issues, and since one of the Labour candidates helped me sort out a problem with street rubbish and the other one has developed a good reputation for helping claimants, that was good enough for me to put them in as one and two.

A bloke named Alan Melville is standing as an independent so he got the number three spot on my top ten list. Alan and I met each other during the Brexit campaign and I am pleased to see that he has dumped UKIP and returned to the ranks of the sane and sensible. Anyway, he is a decent fellow and deserved a preference. Next I went for another independent who has a thing about our appalling roads in Edinburgh, then the two SNP candidates, before going down to the coalition of losers.

Turnout seemed to be low, but I was told that the police have said that this action at this polling station is fairly brisk when compared to a lot of others.

The staff are under orders not to try and explain the intricacies of STV voting to the punters, but they were repeating the information that is stuck up on posters around the place, which is basically to list the candidates in order of their preference. I saw one man struggling with his ballot paper, and expect a fair number of ballot papers to be rejected, as the count progresses tomorrow.

Edinburgh now has a counting machine, which should make everything go smoothly, unless it breaks down, of course, which Sod's Law states that it will.

After exercising my franchise I wandered off to a Starbucks and told the girl behind the counter that I didn't really fancy a strong and stable latte, but wouldn't say no to one that was made up of a chaotic collation of beans. For my efforts I was rewarded with a completely blank look, and as I smiled into her eyes, all I saw was my own image, reflected back.

I fear for democracy in this country, I really do.

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