Snowflakes Melt at the Thought of Trump's Visit to Britain

Over a million people signed a petition which demanded that the government rescind its invitation to President Donald Trump to pay a state visit to the country. Unfortunately, of the top twenty constituencies which provided votes for this nonsense, fifteen of them are in London, and the other five are centres of student posturing.

Then they had a demonstration, but unfortunately, a fair few of the marchers looked like refugees from a freak show.

Meanwhile the rest of the country decided that it didn't really give a fuck, as you can see from the above reading, taken from a genuine meter which checks all and any fucks that are ever given in real time.

Nevertheless, being warm, wonderful human beings, we are willing to let the freaks know what they can do with their opinions of Trump, and Brexit, which is what we reckon this is really about.

The snowflakes will melt at this news, but the freakshow will move on, and soon there will be something else for them to whine about.

As for us, we shall get on with our lives, secure in the knowledge that we don't have to give a fuck about the whining losers: we are the majority of the country!

UKIP Strides Forward in Stoke as Labour Selects a Federast Candidate

In a determined effort to lose Stoke Central, Labour has chosen Gareth Snell as its candidate. Snell is a councillor who likes to pretend that he is a local man, whereas actually he is from Stowmarket, a delightful little town in leafy Suffolk and only came to the area to attend the University of Keele.

After graduating from that intellectual powerhouse, he became a professional politician who changed seats to avoid a fight with the up and coming UKIP. The good people of Chesterton Ward, in Newcastle-Under-Lyme, decided that this was not to their liking, so voted the carpetbagger off the council in 2014, but he managed to slither back in a 2016 by-election. His attempt to win a county council seat also failed, with victory going in that election to UKIP, as you will have probably guessed.

He has never had a real job, but did earn a decent crust as an aide to the former MP, the Hunt known as Tristram. Needless to say he is also a Federast, and never had the wit to try and hide the fact, something which is now all over the web. He is also on record as someone who sang the praises of "The excellent Eddie Izzard," and now wants to be the MP for a town that probably regards Izzard as a member of a freak show.

For their part, the Tories are reported to be running a paper candidate, leaving UKIP to have a clear run, something which Labour have now allowed to happen by their choice of candidate.

All Labour had to do was select a local man, who was also a Brexiteer who shared the social conservatism of the town. A candidate who believed in the old Labour values of strong unions, protectionism and nationalised industries. Had they chosen such a candidate then the party would have walked to victory, but instead they have gone for yet another identikit chancer from the middle class, with the result that UKIP are now the odds-on favourite to take the seat.

What a disaster this is going to be.

Labour Seems Determined to Lose Stoke

I am getting a bit worried about Labour's chances in the Stoke by-election, I really am. Either they, or the people who are supposedly supporting them, seem determined to lose the vote, as this leaflet which supposedly was handed out in Stoke pretty much demonstrates.

Of the six reasons why people should not for UKIP, only two have any traction. The NHS is a Labour issue, so that is a fair one, and I can sort of understand why the argument that income tax should be set at a flat rate is not going to be much of a goer in Stoke, but the other four are off the wall.

Do Nope No Hope, as those of us who find this outfit worthy only of a laugh call it really believe that a population that has seen its jobs decimated in a generation will find global warming or the plight of elephants in Africa high on their list of priorities? As for the other two, which deal with Muslims, all I can say is that Labour's attitude towards those who enrich our culture with their presence is probably best played down.

Then we have the story going round that Labour men are telling the punters that they should not vote for UKIP's Paul Nuttall as his home in Liverpool is a long way from Stoke. Actually it is about 60 miles from Liverpool which means it is a damn sight closer than the 150 or so from Stoke to London, which is where the last Labour MP came from. 

Then we have Stoke's famous local dish of meat, spuds, carrots and whatever other veggies are found in the cupboard. It is called lobby or lobbies and is identical to the scouse that they eat in Liverpool. Its origins are probably in the German labskaus, so the Stoke housewives took the first syllable, and Liverpool's women the second, but the meal is the same. 

The accents are also somewhat similar, which suggests that the Irish influenced Liverpool twang found its way to Stoke via the bargees who supplied Stoke through the canal network in the 18th and 19th centuries.

Finally, Liverpool is as poor as Stoke and for the same reasons: the Tories waged war on the working class in the 1980s and Labour did sod-all to repair the damage in the 2000s.

Labour could lose this seat to UKIP and if they do then they only have themselves to blame.

Melania Trump: America's First MILF

America got President Donald Trump today and the world got Melania, his foxy First Lady, as its new MILF. She will be 47 in April and for most girls that means that their fuck-by date is long passed, but this babe can still turn heads and stiffen middle legs.

We also saw Ivanka, his delightful daughter, who takes after her step-mother in the bedability stakes:

We hope to be seeing a lot more of both Trumpettes over the next four years, but here's a final shot of the lovely Ivanka displaying her finest assets:

Say what you like about Donald J. Trump, but he has fine taste in women. We haven't had a decent bit of tottie as First Lady since Jackie Kennedy, and she always struck me as a bit of a cold fish. Melania looks as if she would see a man right, as Donald will no doubt tell us in one of his unguarded moments.

The next four years are going to be fun!

Federast Funnies 7: When a Federast Met Some Real people

Today was the day when even the Guardian had to implicitly admit that Brussels' dogs really are just cowardly curs. Just read The Brexit Resistance from John Harris, who I must admit is one of the saner Guardian writers, if you had any doubts.

Harris went to Manchester to interview Eoin Ward, who as you might expect is a student. He helps pay for his course by giving English lessons to EU nationals, and as someone who was once in the teaching trade I can tell you that every single penny of his wages will have come from the public purse. There may have been cutbacks in other further education areas, but teaching English to those who enrich our culture by the presence is still easy money for the lecturers.  

They met at a Pret a Manger, naturally, and Ward tried to big himself up by telling the reporter that he was a real live activist who had done “a bit of leafleting” for Brussels during the campaign. Just a bit, mind you...

In August Ward even organised a street stall in city centre Manchester, and guess what happened? No, don't guess, since we can let Ward take up the tale:

“At least 20 quite scary-looking people turned up with bandanas over their faces, holding up St George’s flags and filming everything. I don’t know what group they were from but, to me, they looked a bit kind of neo-Nazi, white supremacist – that sort of ilk. They were giving us a lot of grief, telling us we didn’t respect democracy.”

Got that? A counter demonstration of about twenty people turned up and this Federast almost shit his load. God knows what will happen if the tame judges ever do manage to subvert our vote because then there will be a lot more than twenty people on the street to make their feelings clear. Best buy some adult nappies now.

Ward went on to say that campaigning on-line is easier than on the street: "It’s much scarier in real life,” he said. Yes, you precious little snowflake, it damn well is, and it will get a lot worse if Brexit is subverted by the wealthy that you pander too.

Let's look on the bright side: if this is the best that the Federasts can muster then they are fucked, they really are.

Bella Caledonia is on the verge of closure

Back in June 2016 yours truly predicted that Bella Caledonia, the nauseatingly trendy website that hardly anyone reads would close sooner rather than later. Up popped the editor Mike Small to state: "I'm sorry to disappoint you Ken but we'll be around for a very long time." A long time turned out to be just seven months, as Mike Small is now job hunting and the site looks as if it will close any day now. For that reason I have saved the page that earned my ire just a few short months ago, and which includes my prediction that the train was about to hit the buffers.

It's nice to be right about things, isn't it?

Mexico seems to be calming down from the Gasolinazo riots

Mexico seems to have paused to take stock of the situation today, with a small crowd going to the main square in Mexico City called the Zocalo to protest against the government, as you can see in the top right of this photo, which was taken at 2.52pm, local time. However, far more people are to be seen on the left, enjoying themselves on an ice rink that was put up for the Christmas festivities.

My family and friends across Mexico City all report that today has been quiet, but with a feeling of unease running through the massive city.

More and more people are convinced that the government was behind the rioting, but if that was the case then they do not seem to have done a very good job today as people went out, not to riot, but to enjoy themselves in the 70F January weather.

Let's hope it stays like that!