Scottish Cuisine: Donner Calzones

What wonders of the gastronomic art are to be found in this humble box, is that what I hear you cry?

 

Wonder no more, for 'tis a donner calzone. Yes, Scotland has combined the succulent delight of a traditional calzone pizza with donner kebab meat to give the world an amuse bouche to savour.

It consists of thin pizza dough, with the traditional base of tomato sauce and cheese, and a layer of onions. Then a gut busting amount of donner kebab meat is piled on top and the dough is then folded over to make the parcel, before being cooked for about five minutes in the pizza oven.

I had my first ever donner calzone tonight and trust me when I say that I can already feel my arteries hardening. All that for £8.50, with extra sauce thrown in free. What more can any man ask for?

By the way, excuse the mess in my kitchen, but after five years of this uncaring Tory government, what can you expect?

Nicola Sturgeon emerged bloody but unbowed from the first Scottish Leaders' debate

 

If you missed the first Scottish leaders' debate on Tuesday, then don't worry because there was no great game changer. That came in spite of the fact that Nicola Sturgeon was clearly rattled on a couple of occasions from an audience that was not as friendly as she is used to these days. That said, she more than held her own, and the forward march of the SNP will continue apace.

The audience was chosen by STV "based both on current opinion polls and the last general election result," according to the TV station. They don't tell us how they weighted the polls with the last election, because in 2010 the SNP polled badly and today they are riding high in the polls. It looked to me as if the audience owed more to the 2010 vote than it did to today's voting intentions.

Sturgeon's low point came when she was asked about another independence referendum and quite clearly ruled it out since this election is not about Scottish independence. She was then bowled a low ball which caught her out when she was challenged to do the same in 2016. She gave the obvious answer which was to say that she preferred to fight one election at a time, but that did not go down well with many in the audience who began to groan at the thought of another plebiscite.

She still seemed to be on shaky ground when Jim Murphy, the Scottish Labour leader, pressed her to say if she wanted Ed Miliband as Prime Minister. The obvious answer was to say that the SNP does not care who the leader is, and would work with anyone, even a vegetarian, teetotal weirdo like Jim Murphy. Instead she answered that she was offering to help put Miliband in office, which gave Spud Murphy the chance to reply: "Nicola, we don't need your help." Actually, Labour does, as Sturgeon then shot back, so that round was a draw by my scoring.

Murphy stored up some potential trouble for the future by repeating the old lie that the biggest party forms the government. Those idiotic porkies will come back to haunt Labour if the party finishes second in terms of seats, but has a majority courtesy of the SNP. Obviously, New Labour's troughers will not pass up the opportunity to grab ministerial office, but they will be in for a rough ride from a Tory opposition baying for blood.

Probably the best performance of the night came from Ruth Davidson, the Tory leader. Since the SNP was coming in from the left, and Murphy was desperately trying to pretend that his outfit is also still leftist, that created quite a lot of space that Davidson could occupy on the right which went unchallenged. The disadvantage she had, something which was shared with Willie Rennie of the Lib-Dems, is that nobody really cares what either of them thinks. This election is between the SNP and Labour.

Given that, and even allowing for Sturgeon's shakiness in parts, this debate will be unlikely to influence anyone in any way. The poll lead that the SNP enjoys is based on something more than a rational weighing of the arguments heard in a debate. People who have voted Labour for generations are now sick and tired of being treated like election fodder by a party that scarcely exists as anything other than an election machine to get Labour troughers their fill of Westminster swill.

The forward march of the SNP continues unabated.

The SNP aims for an inclusive campaign

Now that Easter is over the election campaign can get into full gear but only the SNP have a fully staffed campaign shop here in Edinburgh North and Leith. I wandered along there to grab a few window posters for myself, and to give out to anyone on my street who fancies one.

I was taken with the badges that were being handed out, especially the one that you can see on the left. The SNP logo is obvious at the top, but other than that the badge is aimed at people like me who hate the Tories, but are afraid that Labour is just too keen on keeping the votes of the aspirational scrote element in Southern England to worry about the rest of us.

The man running the shop was quite happy to admit that this election is not about independence, it is about making sure that the Tories are slung out and that the new Labour government is held to account by as many SNP Members of Parliament as possible.

That suits me down to the ground.

Nicola Sturgeon offers Labour something we can all say yes to

The nonsense about Nicola Sturgeon's supposed comments have been pretty thoroughly debunked, in that everyone involved has accepted that she is not working towards another Tory government. Now Sturgeon has put the silliness beyond doubt by throwing down a challenge to Ed Miliband. To quote her own words: “If together our parties have the parliamentary numbers required after 7 May, and regardless of which is the biggest party, will he and Labour join with us in locking David Cameron out of Downing Street?”

Obviously Ed Miliband cannot agree to this wheeze until the polls close on the 7th May, as to do so would be to cast his 59 candidates adrift in the whole of Scotland. However, the message to the people in England is quite clear: no matter who wins in Scotland, an anti-Tory will be elected next month. It is now up to working people in England to put aside whatever doubts they have about Labour and vote for Ed's team.

Just a week ago I travelled south and spent a few days in the Eccles district of Salford. It's poor, drab and should be chomping at the bit to get  Tory scum out of office. Instead apathy seems to reign with people telling me the old story that "they are all the same," and that "the parties are only in it for themselves."

Sure, Labour is not offering a golden dawn lit by the glowing rays of socialism, but it is offering the people in Eccles something better than the shit sarnie which is what the Tories want them to bite down on.

So you do your bit by voting Labour and we will do ours by casting a ballot for the SNP: that's something that we can both say Yes to!

Nicola Sturgeon is smeared as a secret Tory backer

The Daily Telegraph has reported the contents of a confidential government memorandum which gives a third-hand account of a meeting between Nicola Sturgeon and the French ambassador to the UK in February of this year. The memo was drawn up by a civil servant based upon a telephone call with the French Consul-General who reported what he had been told by the ambassador.

According to this memo, Sturgeon said that she preferred Cameron to Miliband because she did not see the latter as being all that prime ministerial.

Sturgeon has denied saying any such thing and all we have is a Telegraph report of a memo that was written by a man who was not in the meeting, either. That said, we can expect the Tory press to jump on this bandwagon with glee as will the Labour Party in Scotland.

Assuming that the memo is broadly true, Does it matter that Sturgeon has a higher regard for Cameron than she does for Miliband? It strikes me as being neither here nor there. As a politician she leads a party that hates the Tories and is willing to work with Labour. She will not wreck her party by doing anything other than working with Miliband, whatever her private reservations are about him.

That said, I am fascinated to learn that the British government has leaked a confidential government document with the aim of causing a rift within the SNP and helping Labour. The first I can sort of understand, even though it is pretty dodgy. However the second only gives credence to the claim that there is not much to choose between Labour and Tory.

All the more reason to vote SNP I would have thought. As for Sturgeon, she should feel rather pleased that she is now regarded as being so dangerous that she is worthy of an official Tory government smear.

Update, 11.55pm: A BBC reporter claims that the French Consul-General denies making any such claims in his telephone call with the British civil servant.

Tory attack advert actually helps Labour and the SNP

Hard though it may be for you to believe but I am running an official Tory campaign video on this here blog of mine. I know, I can't believe it either, but if the silly sods in Tory Central Office are going to provide Labour and the SNP with valuable agitprop like this then I would be a mug not to take advantage of their utter stupidity.

I can understand the strategy behind this is to scare their core voters back into line with the sphincter-clenching thought that Labour may return to power with the support of the SNP. Then, horror of horrors, the new government might even put forward policies that appeal to ordinary people, as opposed to those that are aimed at the saloon bar fascists and their pursed-lipped, cruelly permed wives.

The problem with this wheeze is that a lot of Labour voters in England have given up on a party that has taken them for granted for far too many years as it chases after the aspirational scrote vote in Southern England. After last night's debate when Nicola Sturgeon appealed directly to English voters by telling them that the SNP would work positively with Labour, those voters could very well turn out to cast a ballot for Labour, knowing full well that the SNP will pull the party to the left. This advert actually reinforces that view and that is why it is actually better for Labour than it is for the Tories.

Miliband is to the left of most of his party, so without the SNP he will be pulled rightward. However, with a large SNP cohort in Westminster, Miliband has a perfect cover that he can use to put forward leftist policies that appeal to the council estates. Let's face it, he can blame the SNP, can't he?

Come on the English: get out of your chairs and vote Labour on the 7th May and leave the rest to Scotland and the SNP. 

It's what the Tories are dreading the most!

Who won the seven leaders' debate?

From the point of view of someone who wants to see the Tories out of office next month, here is my take on the seven leaders' debate that took place last night.

Nigel Farage won the event by my reckoning. Alone amongst today's party leaders he is used to making soapbox style public speeches, often to audiences that have been infiltrated by the SWP's mentally defective membership. He got his points across clearly, with the obvious aim of trying to energise his base and stop the rot in his party's poll ratings. I particularly liked the way that he dealt with Nicola Sturgeon's jibe that he probably blamed foreigners for everything. Instead of shouting back he just grinned and shook his head, leading the viewers to conclude that she had just lost the plot with that one.

Sturgeon came in a close second to Farage, and made a direct appeal to the rest of the UK. The message was that Labour voters in England and Wales can relax as her SNP will work with Labour to ensure that the Tories will be out of office next month. She played down the whole independence schtick, and concentrated on putting forward anti-austerity policies that will play in Labour's Scottish heartlands. Those polices will also play in Labour's English seats, so the subliminal message was that it is OK to vote for Labour south of the River Tweed because Auntie Nicola will make sure that Labour people get more of what they want from a Labour government kept in power by her gang.

Funnily enough, it was interesting to see how neither Sturgeon nor Ed Miliband attacked each other directly. That fact leads to the obvious conclusion that talks about talks, at least, have already begun between the two parties. 

I put Leanne Wood of Plaid Cymru as joint second with Sturgeon, but everyone else had her way down the list. She ignored the rest of the country and played directly to her Welsh voters, which is fair enough for a party that is trailing UKIP in the Welsh opinion polls. I liked the way that she always called her party Plaid Cymru - the party of Wales, as that was an obvious attempt to get away from her Welsh language heartland and appeal to the bulk of the population in Wales who are quite happy to speak English. Leading on from that she concentrated on economic matters rather than linguistic or cultural ones, but whether that will be enough to persuade the bulk of the population to come onside is another matter. It was a great performance though.

Ed Miliband was next in my list. First of all he came over as thoughtful and articulate, but he was let down by the need as Labour sees it to appeal to the English aspirational scrote vote in the Midlands and South. However, he overcame the Tory smear that he is little more than a weird geek, and emerged as a personable bloke that people could warm to as he spoke. That said, he was seen to either swallow hard or gulp, seemingly in response to a jibe from Cameron. It may have been coincidental, but the image creates the narrative, and Miliband really needs to work on things like that to ensure they don't happen too often.

David Cameron and Nick Clegg spent the night arguing about which of them will get the dog and video collection in the divorce settlement. Clegg emerged as the more personable of the two, with Cameron coming over as a man who is going through the motions. I suspect he knows that his leadership will end along with his time in office next month.

Finally we had Natalie Bennett of the Greens who was as amateurish and appalling as ever. The Green vote is sagging and if there is any justice in the world after that performance it will now go into free-fall.

To conclude, Farage probably did more than enough to bolster his sagging vote, which should keep enough Tory voters inside the UKIP tent and help Labour enormously. Sturgeon and Miliband looked forward to a Labour government backed by the SNP, and together they did nothing to frighten anyone away from that prospect. Wood did nothing to rock that boat which means that there will be another three or so anti-Tory seats in Wales that will back Miliband. Finally, the threat to Labour from the posturing Green ninnies probably ended as just about everyone in the country realised how silly they are.